The Dice #45

Molade Thomas tossed her phone into the drawer. She knew she should pick up the call, but she wasn’t ready to have a conversation with Lanre. They have all been busy the last couple of weeks following the aftermath of the rescue of Dunni as well as the mad dash to set up the Sambisa Minning company.
She could understand the need for the children to know their dad was alive, but did not understand the urgency. If the children had survived 30-plus years of their lives without their father, what would a few weeks’ delay change? She’d tried many times in her head, replaying the different scenarios of how to broach the subject with them. Tide was away in the US, and it was crucial to reveal the information to them at the same time.

She tried envisaging each child’s reaction. Tade was the cool one who would take the information and need more time to reflect, while Tide would be the first to find her voice and start firing questions, showing excitement and start planning the first meeting. When she’s done, Tade will take over with a third-degree questioning. She was, however, unable to ascertain whether they would be easily forgiving, considering the role she playedin accepting their father’s death without seeing the grave or contacting his family.  She believed her dad’s report and forged on with her life.

Molade is transported to a moment when the twins were 10 years old. They had returned from school in preparation for a Father’s Day event at school.
“Mummy, Daddies are to come to school for Father’s Day next week,” Tide announced, the appointed spokesperson for the moment. They had a pattern where they took the lead in speaking interchangeably. In the earlier days, as a mum, she used to play mind games about who would be the spokesperson for the moment, but gave up when she never got it right. 
“Your daddy is in heaven. He can’t come.”  Molade explained. It was something they had all come to terms with.

“Can’t we get another daddy to come for us, or rent one?” Molade almost choked on her food. 

“Rent a dad?” she asked bewildered.

“Yes, can’t you rent anything?” Tide asked sounding more grown up than her 10 years of age.

Molade was more shocked at how transactional she sounded.

“I saw it in a movie. The man rented a girlfriend to take home.”

” And where did you see this movie?”She asked troubled at what the children were being exposed to.

“Auntie Felicia was watching it on Africa Magic.” Auntie Felica was their housekeeper doubling as the twins nanny.  She made a mental note to discuss with the housekeeper.

“You can’t rent a human being. It borders on lies. If you have to rent, then the relationship is not true, and you are expecting both parties to pretend.” 
After a long pause, “You are right, mum. I saw that in the movie too.”
Not one to give up, she followed relentlessly. “We still need a dad, though, for Father’s Day.”

“I will talk to grandpa to see if he can come.”

Even though Tade seemed disengaged from the conversation, they responded simultaneously.

“No! “they both chorused.

“No one has a daddy with grey hair like grandpa in our class,”said Tide with frown.

“Uncle Jamiu can come,” Tade offered logically.

“That sounds like a plan. What do you say, young lady?” Any idea from her twin was always the best idea.

“Yeah, we could do that, but he must dress like a daddy.”

“How do daddy’s dress?” Molade asked curious.

“Hmmm like grandpa, but without grey hair,” Tide responded nodding confidently.

Back to present day.

Molade made up her mind, she would tell them in person. She reached for her phone to call Tide. When Tide’s call suddenly came through.

“I was just about to call you,” Molade said.

“I wasn’t sure if this was a good time, considering all your numerous meetings, but I took the risk,” came Tide’s voice from the other end of the phone.

“So, what were you calling me for, mum?” Tide added.

“Can’t I call to greet you?” Molade chuckled, feigning offense.

“Mum, it’s Monday, not Sunday, I know you, this is no social call,”Tide interjected.

Molade could not but release the laughter still refusing to admit any guilt. “Okay, you go first.”

“Efosa and I are relocating back to Nigeria. We arrive a few days before Tade and I’s 33rd birthday. Tade doesn’t know yet. It’s a surprise. Please plan a dinner anything with him on that day but make sure he doesn’t have a surprise plan of his own.”

“You two ask more of me than my biggest business deals.”

“Nah! Not the woman who took down a whole entity and is now building a mining company on grounds others feared to tread. I am learning from the best.”

“Yeah, yeah my lips are sealed, Mum,” Tide laughed, the sound bouncing down the line.

“Fine. I’ll try.”

“Promise to keep him in the country, whatever it takes.”

“I’ll try, Tide. I’ll try. I still can’t promise to tie your brother up and make sure he does not leave the country on whatever shenanigans you two always do on your birthday.”

 “Bye Mum, love you!”

Molade sighed with relief. She could not have come up with a better plan. She had barely put down her phone when Lanre barged into her office followed by her staff apologising.

Molade, waved off her apologies while focusing on Lanre.
“Your choice of entry into my office is becoming boring,” Molade stated drily.
“Maybe you should tell your staff to stop trying to prevent me from coming in or pick up your damn phone.”
Molade raised her head with a piercing gaze, the kind that could bore a hole through steel. Lanre gazed back unfazed, taking his seat in front of her without an invitation. Molade stared back, resolving not to speak, playing the silent contest of power game.
“Have you told the children?”

The question made her stomach tighten. A bitter taste coated her tongue of regret. She hated that she had to crush whatever hope flickered in his voice, but time was something she needed. You don’t just walk into someone’s life and announce that their dead father is alive. This wasn’t just a confession, it was an upheaval.

“This is life altering, Lanre,” she muttered quietly in disgust. “Can you think beyond yourself and about how they would process this information. The emotions… Shock. Anger. Grief. Disappointment. Betrayal. Maybe even relief. But I can’t predict it. I want to tell them at the right time, in a way that won’t undo everything I’ve built over the years with them. I haven’t always been the best mother, but I’ve always been present. Always fought for their best interest. This could shatter the relationship we’ve built.”

What she did not say was this would shatter what is left of the fickle relationship she had with Tade. He had not forgiven her for her disapproval of his dead wife.

Lanre’s voice was steady. “The longer you wait, the harder it’ll be to convince them why you held the information from them. They are adults. Telling them the moment you found out will build their trust and bring them into the journey with you as you navigate this new reality. You would build a connection of dealing with something new together, not let them feel left behind.”

Molade gave a faint smile, Lanre had spoken well but it was easier said than done.

“You always had a way of putting things into perspective.”

“And we’re in this together,” he assured her.

A quiet warmth touched her chest, a thawing sensation, like the first signs of rain after a long, harmattan season. But she fought to keep her composure. She was, after all, Molade Thomas.

“Give me a week,” replied Molade curtly. This was not the time to breakdown.

Lanre stood up. He seemed to want to say more but decided against it.

“I’ll wait for a week. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll speak to the young man myself.”

Molade caught the weight behind his words. A subtle threat delivered calmly. Thirty years had passed, and they were no longer the same people. Strangers, bound only by memory and a broken bond. Technically, they were still married. What did that even mean now? Was he married to someone else? Would she need a divorce? Could you be married and not really married? 

For so long, she had worn her widowhood like armour, dignified, untouchable. Now, that armour felt like a lie. She wasn’t a widow, but she wasn’t exactly a wife. An ex-widow? A returned from the dead spouse?