The Dice#28

She’d barely been at her place for ten minutes when she heard her doorbell ring. Whoever it was, it must have been someone close to her gateman to allow the person in. She could guess it may be Ola, Moses, or Emma, and she was not up to receiving anyone; she should have told Sule he was not to let anyone in, even the list she had given him.

Dunni opened the door and was not surprised to see Emma, her long-time friend and confidante. “Who asked you to come?” she asked, although she could guess that Moses, her childhood friend, must have put her up to it.

“It does not matter who put me up to it. Emma replied, walking past her and dropping her bag on the sofa. She made a beeline to the fridge to help herself with a glass of cold water. Typical of Emma to walk in like she owned the place.

“It is so hot; this global warming is genuine and not some scam by the world out there.

Dunni followed her without saying a word. She was sure Emma had not come all the way to talk about the weather and was not in the mood for any discussion.

“I hear congratulations are in place—engaged and with a daughter, too!” said Emma, gazing at her pointedly.

Dunni waved her hand in denial, giving a small smile.

“So, when is the wedding?”

“Three months from now.”

“What! Who gives three months to plan a wedding? Does this guy know you have a whole community of friends and family who have been waiting for this day, and you both want to rush it like that?”

Dunni swallowed hard. She did not want to tell her friend that Tade had fixed the date without consulting her. He wanted the wedding to be before the end of the year, the same date as his previous marriage. Tade had already decided to use his church. He did not want the wedding to be in the month of his daughter’s and late wife’s birthday, which was also her birth month. Dunni had always dreamed of a June wedding and hated the idea of a wedding around Christmas. The season was too festive to add to the burden of planning a wedding.

“Tade did not see any reason to wait longer, and we both know what we wanted,” she said, hating herself for lying to her friend. How was she to explain how pathetic she had become to her friend going ahead to marry a guy who thought more about himself, his daughter and his dead wife over her, or at least it came across as that to her?

“Or he thinks you may change your mind.”

“Emma!”

“Don’t Emma me. I may be called many things, but I won’t keep my mouth shut when I see you making a huge mistake. Leaving a guy who’s loved you all his life for someone looking for a mother for his child and a wife to keep his home.”

“That’s enough, Emma! Dunni shouted and regretted doing so immediately.

 “Who are you talking about that has loved me all his life?” Dunni asked, more upset with Emma than she had ever been in all their years of friendship.

“Do you seriously not know, or are you playing games with me?”

“Who is it?” Dunni asked, exasperated.

“Moses.”

“What are you talking about? Moses never had feelings for me. It has always been a joke on his part ever since he used his useless dice.”

“Yeah,” Emma retorted drily.  “I am sorry to inform you that it appears you were the only one who did not see this guy staying by your side and playing the role of a fiancé, which you found very convenient.”

“Did you know about Moses’ supposed feelings for me?” Dunni asked quietly, afraid of what she might hear.

Emma laughed in derision. “Are you serious? I have been your friend all these years, and I thought you knew. Can you remember the day you walked in on Moses and me having a conversation about some mystery girl in our final semester? You said if he loved the girl badly and she wasn’t reciprocating, she did not deserve him, and he should move on.”

“Yes, I do, but what does that have to do with me?” Dunni rubbed her temples, frustrated by the unending circles to their conversation.

“Since you have decided to act clueless where Moses is concerned, you were the girl in that conversation. We have been waiting for your eyes to be opened, but it was not only your eyes that were closed; your heart was closed, too.”

“No way!” she did not want to believe Emma. There must be a mistake somewhere.

“Yes, way! Sleeping beauty. Moses has loved you all these 16 years. 16 years, this guy has stayed by your side, loving you in many ways some girls will only dream of, but you have been so blind.  I hope you know what you are doing. I married Greg, who I love to the moon and back, and some days, I’m wondering what I got myself into. Now, think of what would happen if I had married some guy who I felt a maternal pull to his daughter. I’ll be out of the marriage now.

Emma stood up and slipped her bag over her shoulders. “I’ll see myself out,” she said, hugging Dunni. You are in a difficult situation, but I hope you think of yourself and that little girl and that you are doing your best for her in the long run. Should you be unhappy in that marriage, there would be little you can do for her.”

Dunni was left in tears. She did not think she had any more tears left. All she had been doing in the last couple of days was crying. Her misery increased when she thought of all the ways Moses had been trying to tell her of his love, and she had bluffed all of them, thinking he was teasing and just running with his dice prediction.

She missed Moses if what she was going through did not involve him. She would have gone to him to talk it through so she could run her thoughts by him. Moses had a way of breaking up situations and helping you see the bigger picture.

She grabbed her keys and drove to Ola’s place. She needed to figure out what she was searching for. If what Emma said was true, then Ola must have known all this while.

When she got to Ola’s house, she was so glad Ola opened the door instead of his wife. Dunni knew she looked a mess and wasn’t sure she could face Miriam right now with all the questions she could not answer. Dunni politely asked for his wife as Ola led her to his study. She could guess she was crashing on family time.

“Is it true?” she asked.

“What,” Ola asked, scratching his head obliviously at what she was talking about.

“Is it true that Moses has loved me for the last 16 years?”  Dunni knew she must sound pathetic, but she needed to know. “Ola, please tell me.  For the sake of all the years we have been friends,” Dunni pleaded. 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. Go to Moses and talk this over with him. You don’t need me; I am a third party.”

“You can’t, or you won’t?” It appeared that Ola would talk for a fraction of a second, and then it was gone. He shook his head. “I am sorry, Dunni. You need to talk to Moses.”

Fine!” she stormed out of his study, smacking into someone. She did not need to look at the face to know it was Moses. She could recognize the woodsy and aromatic smell of his cologne anywhere.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, looking up at his face and being shocked. It had been only 24 hours, and Moses had never looked this worse. His hair was uncombed. She felt terrible that she was the one hurting and causing him pain.

After this blew over, Dunni promised to start looking for another job. It was too obvious that things could never go back to what they used to be. The friendship and usual banter would be gone, replaced with a strained relationship.

Ola followed her out. He did not appear surprised to see Moses. “A good thing you are here. Dunni came to ask me a question only you could answer. I will leave you both here. Please close the door behind you.”

Moses tucked his hands into his pocket, not without sending a silent thank you to his friend. He had come to talk to Ola. Just the thought of Dunni going ahead with the wedding was driving him crazy.

Dunni cast an evil look at Ola. “Fine!” Such an irony is the word she used when everything was far from being ‘fine’ in her life. Would discovering Moses’ feelings for her have been since they were teenagers make any difference to her?  Was she trying to assuage the pain and hurt she felt? How could something you have wished for so long fall within your reach, and you could not take it?

Dunni returned to the study while Moses followed her, shutting the door behind them.

“Is there something you wanted to ask me?” Dunni could hear his voice, dejected and defeated, breaking her heart. Her upbeat friend, who would bring the moon down if need be, now appeared to have lost his zest for life.

She cleared her voice. Is it true about that day with Emma on campus that you were referring to me?”

“What difference would it make,” he asked gruffly, his hands still in his pocket as he walked over, closing the distance between them.

“No difference,” she lied. “I just need to know.”

“I won’t answer your question,” he said, holding her gaze as he moved towards her, closing the distance between them and entirely in her personal space. They had been this close before, and she had not bothered, but all her senses were up this time.

Dunni was the first to blink, “We have nothing else to say on this issue, and we can all go forward with our lives.

If that’s what you want.

She was sick and tired of Moses acting as if she had dumped the burden of the revelation on them instead of him. He should have kept whatever feelings he had to himself. The guilt was slowly eating at her, and she was looking for anything to get her out of this mess. It was supposed to be simple: She got engaged and moved on like Ola and Moses would one day. It was not something to be this complicated, a love triangle.